This time of year always seems to push me to a new level of strength. I say this because every incident is a moment for opportunity or negativity. This year, I allowed the professional to affect my personal well-being. I started carrying things around, creating baggage where there once was none…This goes against what I believe in a way that created a battle for my Conscious. Tonight, I was faced with a moment of realization that allowed me to sacrifice for the service and betterment purely for the ones around me. I was given the opportunity to take the high road and to do my best to maintain my integrity.
Mistakes happen. They just do, and sometimes they need to marinate. In an all too immediate realization, I allowed myself a huge moment of vulnerability, but I felt safe. I thought it would be okay, and we could figure it out. That’s not what happened. I paid my workplace for being there tonight. It was for my own mistake, and like I said, it was a big one. It’s just doing that in the middle of my shift gave me the ability to serve knowing that no matter what it was going to be good. I definitely showed my emotions, and it took me a bit to compose. As always there’s a bit of a back story, but for me those aren’t the moments that count. The moment I realized that I could just work, and it was all sort of surreal, allowed me some kind of enlightenment. It gave me the ability to be as human as utterly possible with each of my interactions. It was a strange form of sorrowful bliss that I’m still in awe of. I’m going to do my best to maintain this perception, and be thankful tonight for the rest. I’m going to be thankful for numerous things, and especially thankful that tomorrow is a new day. We get a chance to start again.
Sometimes what hurts us isn’t material. With no true concept of material gain, our work is just a series of interactions with coinciding actions. The hurt was intense, but it was an emotional hurt. A human hurt from one to another. It was not a hurt over material loss. Realizing that makes me proud. Knowing that my heart was in the moment, and I let that happen. Felt every freaking bit of it, and am sitting here writing this feeling full of love, just wanting to express the power it restored in me. I know now, I can handle this…I spent a few minutes today looking in the mirror saying something like that, but my mind questioned it. The Universe decided that I wasn’t going to question it again today. I can do this. I believe in myself, and in my environment. We are all in this together, and if we can actually keep that in mind each day, we might start to get better. I certainly don’t think we’d be hurt by it. Please, let’s all just be human tonight, tomorrow, and the next day, for as many as we have. Our time, after all, is priceless.
So, each moment truly is a chance to be an opportunity, or a negativity. Sometimes, it’s both. This truly is just a string of moments, felt by our skin, seen by our eyes, and processed through our brain. Life is consciousness, and in my opinion the pursuit of the lightest, freest, happiest one we can find. Smile, be thankful, and remember it is all going to happen either way. Thanks for listening and safe journeys.
Stay warm 🙂