Eclectic Realism

As strong as one may feel all the time, there are always moments of weakness. Balance would simply have it no other way. Yesterday, I witnessed myself as a milder version of the self of my past. It was disconcerting to say the least, but in that recognition I am thankful.
Thankful that I knew to seek guidance. Thankful to not hide away my feelings, but to accept them openly. Thankful to know I only wanted to move forward. I’m blessed to have connected and conversed with a kindred spirit. In accepting moments of humanity we are allowing our self to be open and honest.
Let’s face it, life is simple and somewhat undetermined. If we can truly stay observant and logical in nature without absorbing the energy of others…we have truly found enlightenment. To be overwhelmed by energy is to be exhausted, it’s as though our aura went from yellow to gray. All the while hugging and loving others because it’s my favorite way to power through.
So to be free from there, and blessed with the amazing day I had to day was, simply vibrant. Michael is wonderful, we had a great day. I went to a heated yoga class with two friends and pushed myself to new heights! It was intense, but I loved it. I feel restored. I have a sense of peace and beauty in the world. It helps that today everything looked like a painting. The clouds painted with the thick promise of a silver lining. It was positively enlightening. Which is all I had hoped for…thank you.
Today I hope that everyday is this for all. Balance, love and light. Thanks for listening, and safe journeys!

It might not always be easy, but it’s usually simple.

In life I often say, “It may not be easy, but it’s simple.” As of now, the simple is there the easy is not. I often find a bit of mental conflict with a member of my family. I believe as long as you are happy and striving to make others so…you’re really living. However they seem to believe, if we are relaxed, happy, or content we aren’t doing enough. This is difficult for me to compute.
When I started this blog, I said it was to find my voice, and I do believe I am. In life, I choose to negate the downside and focus on the up. I believe there is a reason for everything, and I trust in the universe. In doing so, I think organizing the refrigerator or going to the store is a luxury to be savored. I believe to connect, be open, and loving towards all people will only continue to allow it to flow freely in my own life as well.
Do I ever get sad? Pissed? Frustrated? Of course, I’m a human being, but I choose not to live in those moments.
We find conflict because in the eyes of my family, to be happy is to not be doing enough. Maybe that impacted why I never thought I was enough, but it is such a blessing to see outside of that perception. I know now that we don’t all see the world the same, and it’s difficult sometimes, to imagine really just being happy.
I strive everyday to impact all the people I can. It may not always be “enough,” but I know I’m certainly doing more than I was thirty seconds before. I hope someday we all realize the influence, energy, and happiness that lives inside us. I believe everyday we change the world. What are you going to do with tomorrow? Thanks as always, for listening. Safe journeys!

Embrace your weird.

Giving. It’s something everyone believes in. However, it feels sometimes as though we assign categories or levels to the act itself. I find in times of crisis and struggle I ache to give. When I’m angry, I hug someone. If there’s frustration, I dance!
This awakening has given me thankfulness that awes me from moment to moment. I’m in love with life and the universe, even when it frustrates me to pieces…I find understanding.
People have always let me know I’m different. “Weird.” Yet, now I find myself happier for it. Entranced in the idiosyncrasies and differences in the world, I find myself less stressed and more centered.
The Universe is kind if we allow it, and people are kind if we let them. I once heard, “What’s the shortest distance between two people? A smile.” So let’s do it. Today can be fine, or it can be amazing….It’s up to us. Thanks for listening and safe travels.

Terrifyingly Amazing

Tonight I’m so happy, it’s almost scary. It’s not even just tonight, it’s almost always. Of course, there are moments of frustration, cloudiness, and suffering, but somehow in all of those moments there is a brightness. A light that shines through saying “It’s all good.” Something inside my perspective has shifted, and thankful doesn’t even begin to explain my gratitude.
One of my favorite things to offer as insight is, it’s simple. Maybe it’s not easy, but it’s simple. When it comes to relationships, career, family, and the self….it’s not supposed to be hard. There are times of challenge, times of growth, and moments of realization. These are not the things that make life hard. Although, certainly they may cause suffering. We can always remember that without suffering, what is bliss? What is joy? Without pain, how would we be connected to the humanly embodiment of our soul?
I guess that is what is terrifying and amazing about this new set of eyes. It’s a gift and a curse, just as the Tao would have it I suppose. It’s absolutely invigorating to truly live in the seat of observance. To recognize those moments of emotional turmoil and meet them calmly, is something the lost girl that once lived inside me can only be proud of.
Tonight, I’m so happy, and I hope you are too. Close your eyes, smile, and remind yourself I’m alive I can do this. We all can. Thanks for listening and safe journeys.

Heart and Mind

Today, someone asked me a question that instantly inspired me. I told them I write because it’s a practice to keep my mind in the same place as my heart. I do my best to keep a positive outlook now, but in my gray days I wrote with anger, anguish, depression, and sadly no self-worth.
I hurt for that girl. My heart always gets a little tight when I think about her. So, I always come back to now and remember to be here. I look at all the love, all the life around me, and I send a friend or a stranger something encouraging from my heart through my mind. It may sound a little nutty, but I smile every time.
Now, thanks to you friend, I will remember to look back on my past with that same hope, that same love and encouragement. I am surprised everyday by the blessings of the mind when we choose to see the brightness we all have inside.
Everyday I am thankful, truly. I’m thankful for everything exactly as it is because were it not I wouldn’t be here. It’s been calculated that the chance of you being here just as you are right now is 1 in 400,000,000,000,000. Crazy, right? Thanks for listening and safe journeys.

“Those People”

Back in, what I like to call my “gray days,” I used to always wonder about people. I’d look at “those people” and find myself obsessed with how they were so happy. What made them worthy of confidence? Why did they deserve to be positive in any situation?
Today, I fleetingly used the term, and I found myself immediately redirecting my thought, genuinely surprised it had even popped up. Now, I find myself sitting here thankful that I am one of “those people” because really there’s no such thing.
We are all people. There are the people who are positive, quirky, intelligent, loud, goofy, happy, sad, learning, stuck, and any other adjective we can think of. As I’m writing this I also find myself grateful that I was even surprised. To see little examples of the struggle, reminds us to stay observant, be aware, and make it a habit. Love all, and in turn love ourselves. Be thankful for reminders of our own humanity, and always look up.
Majesty, joy, and bliss are the same as the sky, the same as us, and “those people” are the same too. Thanks for listening and safe journeys.

Life-changers

The people in our lives impart so very much upon us. It may be temporary, long-lasting, irritating, wanted, needed, misguided, and at times, unintentional.

At the beginning of this year, I was at a spiritual low. Literally, I questioned whether or not I could truly be connected to anything ever again. There was so much blackness and what felt like endless walls blocking me from contentment. I wasn’t unhappy, simply apathetic. I could no longer imagine any kind of future. Although, I felt just on the brink of something bigger, something better.

Toward the end of my temporary residence in Las Vegas, I had the pleasure of meeting some very inspiring hairdressers. I was lost, and I needed meaning in my life. Nearing the end of a wonderful night, someone I will never forget said to me, “I don’t try.” I’m not sure he knew or I knew, what an effect that would have on me, or the journey that has since followed.

Most of the time, I hid behind that word. “I’m trying.” “I’m going to try this time.” “I tried!” After hearing those three words, I finally started to question my mentality. I took the word completely out of my life. I realized, life is about action…not trying to act. I am beyond thankful for the mind-blowing moment the Universe put in front of me.

I’m so grateful to be conscious, loving, and actually DOING things. No longer do I let “trying” stand in my way. I can stand up, use my voice, and be myself, a constantly evolving creature. I can give to others without fear of embarrassment. I can recognize fear and move forward from it. My life is full of what I like, what I can, and what I want. It’s no longer about what I have to do, what I can’t do, or what I “need.”

We only get this body, this perspective, and this mind once. Now, I see the beauty of that, the absolute miraculousness that is our life! Doing isn’t trying and trying isn’t doing. Thanks for listening and safe journeys.

Sitting in a Used bookstore

I’m sitting On the floor in the children’s section of the used bookstore. Elvis “Don’t Be Cruel” is playing, and I’ve just finished reading the scholastic classic, “Stone Soup.” I felt a twinge of excitement, this felt familiar. Peeking out at me, loosened from the previous book I had pulled.
So I picked it up and began reading. Adults, teenagers, and children everywhere could find something wise in this beautifully simple journey to find happiness where there is little or none. It’s amazing the gifts we start finding when our minds and our spirits are open. To know that I loved this as a child, reminds me, we all start that way. Sharing, growing, learning, and loving, it’s the true human nature.
Letting these natural feelings of contentment be visible to the world has definitely been a decision every moment, but it’s becoming more natural. Today, for the first time in a long time I walked into an interview, confident in who I am. Not who I’m going to be, not who I should be, or what I could be, but just exactly who I am. I’m thankful to the universe for this moment and every moment. Who knew life was so amazing?
Thanks for listening and safe journeys.