0

The Power of Self-Victimization

Some forms of ignorance simply cannot be swayed by facts. It is not our place to sway, but simply to continue to support life. If people feel victimized, we must leave them to their victimization for that is their reality. This is not to speak of the grief process accompanied by the affects of rape or assault, but intellectual and mental victimization of self. Until any human being recognizes that it is themselves alone that decide their fate, they are capable of delaying their own, and in that, humanity’s progress. Losing themselves in the idea that they are somehow owed something by someone who has nothing to do with the thing they feel victimized by.

To a person who has trapped themselves in the belief system that someone is against them, someone always will be because it is with the very belief that a person is seen as less than or that others believe them to be, that allows themselves to live a life creating that reality. A reality that in nature allows them to halt their own progress, live in fear and oppression, and expect others to somehow create the change that will fix all the problems that have been created. Only the individual person who sees and lives the problems can fix them. Only the individual person who believes they are owed a helping hand can help themselves. Should we all help each other up when we can? Of course, but compassion is not what this addresses. This is an appeal to personal individual accountability, a request to look beyond all that we see as wrong or different with everyone except ourselves, and to actually look within and find the greatness, power, and freedom that has been waiting there for anyone willing to let go of the constructs of entitlement, victimization, and fear.

True peace and the understanding of human equality waits within anyone willing to take down their own sense of what they are owed and move forward with a sense of all that can be had and achieved with positive intent, belief, and action/work to create it. We all face obstacles, challenges, violence, trauma, betrayal, and hardship regardless of any of the physical descriptions that encompass our spirit. We are challenged in our whole being to support and better ourselves as a whole, not because one part of us is a certain way. If we truly believe in what we deserve, focus on what we want to bring about, and leave behind the idea that we first must prove why we should have been handed the gold star first, we might actually move forward as a species beyond this idea that other people should change so that we can have what we want. We might realize that we are the only thing we can change to get what we want.

If we want to see things disappear we must stop talking them into existence. The more power we give to the things we do not want, the less power we have for what we actually long to create. Proponents for peace reflect peace in their lives. Proponents for ethical treatment of animal’s treat animals with the same compassion they have for humans, if not possibly more. Proponents for equality…..do they reflect a belief for equality in all? Do they represent humanity as a whole without reflecting a prejudice or oppression that is felt to exist only towards themselves?

This is where I believe we have somehow forgotten a step. If we truly want human equality, we should behave as equals. If we focus on what it is that any one sees as their plight, does that help to connect all of the people going through their own various hardship? If we came together with compassion for each other’s journeys, sharing with understanding that we all hurt, would we begin to see ourselves in each other? Would we begin to put down the idea that any one person is somehow more or less than another? If we shared our positives, ideas, victories, and personal desire to be better each day, would we feel more like an equal congregation representing consciousness, compassion, and true lasting understanding of oneness to create a world built on understanding and love? Would we even need to bring up equality if we simply lived it? Wouldn’t it just be something that is, like breathing, walking, working, loving, eating, or sleeping? We could all just understand that the person we see is a reflection of our own humanity, our struggle, and our desire to love and be loved.

No more and no less than everything and anything good or bad can happen to anyone regardless of their outside surroundings or perceptions. Why then do we somehow feel that it is “just us?” It never is, and we know that. How do we forget that every human being struggles and no one has a perfect life? Better yet, what can we do to remember who we really are? One great encompassing species of human’s doing their very best to live in a world that goes against the intrinsic desire to be loved, connected, and bonded to one another with respect for the freedom of choice. We are beings of love and light. We are comprised of more space than matter, as is all of our reality surrounding us.

We send out electromagnetic vibrations that we control through the heart, spirit, and mind. This is regardless of what makes up our body. We literally decide our lightness, or density. We decide what feelings we put out. If we give people the idea, we believe them to be superior, can we be angry with them for leading superior lives? We encouraged and believed they would do so. Each day, each moment, each breath we can create the reality we seek, or we can live in ignorance. Do not sway the ignorance, encourage the intentions of equality in peace. Leave behind the victims who cannot see that they are the help they first need, and move forward helping all you can on the path to their’s and your own highest good. Give of yourself, accept what serves, and walk away from that which does not.

Advertisements
1

Feelings: The Sixth Sense?

Senses, for all of our developmental years, we are taught that we have merely five. That we can see with our eyes, hear with our ears, taste with our mouths, and touch with our hands. Now, lately i find myself debating these facts. Are those truly the only five senses we have and develop? Many people would say, obviously not. However, they can’t tell you exactly what the magic “sixth sense” is. We will hear words like ESP, subtle senses, and intuition. However, that is not a developed trait that all human beings feature. Feelings, however are everywhere and always.

Feelings, I have been doing a lot of research on feelings and what they “are.” In my mind, though, they are another sense. A sense of the body and the constant energetic shifts it is going through. Feelings are our navigational tool to promote self-realization and understanding. Without feelings, we would only know the logic-base of being alive. Feelings are definitely a sense of the organ of the brain. Without which the neurotransmitters and chemical reactions that we know as “emotional reactions,” would not exist. It is only though, with the conscious realization that we control our reaction to things, that frees us from our emotions. We are not enslaved to these chemical reactions, just as we are not enslaved by our allergies.

Yes, we may have malfunctions such as pink eye, runny nose, burned tongues, or clogged ears, but we are aware of the malfunction and we operate outside of our discomfort. Can we say the same of our emotions? Do we recognize that there is always the possibility that an emotional reaction is just a bit of a malfunction and not quite within the comfort of “who we are?” It is said that feelings can be measured in direct proportion to how much we like or dislike something. It is a correlation of the mind then, and not the mind itself which creates feelings. Our brain is able to fix upon a particular object, thought, shape, color, pattern, or really anything and decide like or dislike. Once, that happens depending on the external consciousness around us, we find ourselves developing certain feelings about these seemingly inconsequential moments of now. Therein, these reactions of emotions are then varied depending on the function of the brain and the external world around us. Could we not then infer that our feelings are a sense that we use to help navigate emotional distress and elation? I believe that if we look at the logic pattern of subconscious, conscious, choice, emotion, feeling, and realization we can see that feeling is what makes sense of the interaction.

If we were to openly see feeling as a separate sense that can be developed, we would learn that emotions are tricky. We would be able to understand that our subconscious takes in things at a rate faster than our waking state, and that is what creates conscious decision making. Knowing that, how could we not then see that the emotions that stem from that choice are purely a reaction to the choice itself? With all of this information, I think it is simple to find ourselves seeing even more clearly that feelings than, are the sense that give us pause from the instantaneous chemical response to choice and it’s externalization in our consciousness. We can begin to learn to develop out of cognitive dissonance, and the emotional reactions of disbelief, offense, anxiety, and fear. We are just not as developed in our sensory ability to manifest the emotions into feelings of faith, trust, and love. This is an ability that any human brain has the ability to function through given meditation, yoga, good nutrition, support, and love. It is interesting that we seem to be so engulfed by our emotions. We call them disorders, imbalances, and other superficial terms that only serve to gloss over the shallow surface. Where is the depth?

We understand now that the brain is capable of so much more than what we have previously given credit to, and in accepting that knowledge I hope we can begin to foster our feelings into those of success. We are the creators, the ones who manifest, we are the feelers of the Universe. That is our humanity. We are emotional, we feel, we touch, we see, we hear, we taste, and we are aware of it all. Let’s open ourselves to the idea that feeling is natural, but we are not powerless over it. Let’s look our emotions down to their roots, and let’s manifest something better. We are powerful beyond measure, and we are not just our mind, emotions, heart, or body. We are all of that manifested together into the conscious energetic field of life. This is our sixth sense, to feel.

How many more have you discovered?

0

Paralyzed With Intent

Facial paralysis. I’ve been at it for days. I find some magic opening sentence to start this, but truly the answer is, facial paralysis. Here’s the interesting thing about it, our brain forgets our face is there. Yet, we will still see it in the mirror. I have been finding myself continually curious about this because before I could start to feel the itches and stings of my nerves awakening, I had no clue that was going on.
My face was there, I could see it, and that was enough. I didn’t notice, when the first twitches came, that I covered my face with my left hand, but the more I did, I realized it was because my left brain couldn’t feel the right side of my face and just figured I must want to cover the left. Now, here’s what got me, I’d still cover my right side though. I believe this is because that was my true intent. Which made me think…just how powerful is intent?
Of course, to many of us, we have read, watched, and listened to many different perspectives on creating our reality and the power of our thoughts. I am sure I heard people use the word intent, but I don’t think I completely understood the significance behind it. I was placing it in the same category as our thoughts, mindset, and emotions. However, intent is very much a being of its own.
Our intent is our truth. It is what creates the surrounding energy in the world around us. Our circumstances draw from it, whether we are aware or not.
Sometimes, we are at odds with ourself. I believe it is the fight for intention between the mind and the soulful self. We want to be of light, love, and peace. Who doesn’t want to feel complete bliss? Our societal expectations of life have allowed us to find more discomfort in trusting ourselves than questioning our own being. The fear in us is encouraged to grow, but the individuality is not. Conformity is the general comfort zone. That’s why one can even be thankful for facial paralysis. It is an expression, not only of intent, but of forced individualism. People notice when your face doesn’t move, but the funny thing is, it helped me stop worrying about other people’s intent. It helps me realize that it is my own intent that is my only concern.
It is the strangest thing, realization. It comes mostly in times of pain and suffering, but it doesn’t have to. If we intend to continue to see with clarity, and if we believe each day to be another realIzation of light and love in the universe, that is what we will see. It reminds me, it may not always be easy, but it’s simple. Intend for the best and believe you deserve it, and I will too. Safe journeys and thanks for listening.

0

The Path to Self-Construction

The path to self construction, it is similar to the path of self destruction in that we are the only ones in charge of making it happen. There is no sure fire way to become some perfect vision of who you want to be, but there is a conscious decision to be thankful for everything you have already been and will become. We are so blessed in our conscious thought. It is a powerful tool in teaching us how to be. Not to be anything, just to be.
When we give ourselves time, it can feel selfish. It can create a distrust in ourselves as to whether we should be here now or doing something else. Is there something better we should be doing? The best way to answer that is, if there was that is what you’d be doing. We can question ourselves incessantly, hoping to find the answers to all the open-ended constantly evolving perceptions of thought, or we can choose to live life now. We can be here now, and do what we know. It ill not always be perfect, and it will come with challenges and “mistakes,” but that is what allows us to grow. If we never felt pain, how would we know joy?
That is my focus now, feeling the pain. I don’t want to hold it inside me, and let it show itself in my actions. I want to feel it inside of me quaking my nerves and sending my heart racing because when I do calm…..it will be because I’m actually letting go and not holding in. I will actually be content with the mishaps of life because I don’t push them aside and pretend they’re not there. We are all fully capable of being accountable to our pain the same way we can be accountable to our family, job, and everything else. We can’t hide from the hurt. It will find us. When it does it will have been carrying the weight of itself just as long as you have,and it will be tired. It will send that weight crashing down onto you with a force of something “unrelated.”
These weights will continue to build on top of each other, leaving us with nothing but a vague awareness that something is not right. Slowly as our self and soul begin to crush under the weight of unresolved pain, we become more aware of the uneasy feelings inside. Is it depression? Anxiety? Am I just tired or hungry? The mark of a great sufferer is the ability to be aware of internal pain. The search for the root of it inevitably only leads to more what if’s. Until, we can be honest. Once we honestly let the pain in, we can suffer and move forward. Life is a daly struggle, but only if we forget to be thankful for every blessing there is. Just waking up today can be enough. For me, today I’m thankful that I can almost just drink out of a bottle, that I’m starting to be able to use silverware again, and I can almost enjoy laying on my side. Think about it, every inhale we get is gift. Every act is an accomplishment.
The power behind the act of being born and being alive is almost unbelievable in it’s ability to be miraculous. We get to be here, we get to know we are here, and we get to choose what we do with that. We are blessed to spend our lives not seeking protection from death, but figuring out the best way we want to live! Enjoy it! There is little else more important in this world than time. It is non-negotiable. I almost spent all mine, but luckily, I still had credit in my account. That s why I’m here today. So don’t be afraid to be thankful or humble for the littlest things. After all, it’s got to grow from somewhere right? In this life we have many paths, do we choose to construct or destruct? I choose to build. Safe travels and thanks for listening!

0

Synchronicity in Sorrow and Bliss: How Did it Happen?

This time of year always seems to push me to a new level of strength. I say this because every incident is a moment for opportunity or negativity. This year, I allowed the professional to affect my personal well-being. I started carrying things around, creating baggage where there once was none…This goes against what I believe in a way that created a battle for my Conscious. Tonight, I was faced with a moment of realization that allowed me to sacrifice for the service and betterment purely for the ones around me. I was given the opportunity to take the high road and to do my best to maintain my integrity.
Mistakes happen. They just do, and sometimes they need to marinate. In an all too immediate realization, I allowed myself a huge moment of vulnerability, but I felt safe. I thought it would be okay, and we could figure it out. That’s not what happened. I paid my workplace for being there tonight. It was for my own mistake, and like I said, it was a big one. It’s just doing that in the middle of my shift gave me the ability to serve knowing that no matter what it was going to be good. I definitely showed my emotions, and it took me a bit to compose. As always there’s a bit of a back story, but for me those aren’t the moments that count. The moment I realized that I could just work, and it was all sort of surreal, allowed me some kind of enlightenment. It gave me the ability to be as human as utterly possible with each of my interactions. It was a strange form of sorrowful bliss that I’m still in awe of. I’m going to do my best to maintain this perception, and be thankful tonight for the rest. I’m going to be thankful for numerous things, and especially thankful that tomorrow is a new day. We get a chance to start again.
Sometimes what hurts us isn’t material. With no true concept of material gain, our work is just a series of interactions with coinciding actions. The hurt was intense, but it was an emotional hurt. A human hurt from one to another. It was not a hurt over material loss. Realizing that makes me proud. Knowing that my heart was in the moment, and I let that happen. Felt every freaking bit of it, and am sitting here writing this feeling full of love, just wanting to express the power it restored in me. I know now, I can handle this…I spent a few minutes today looking in the mirror saying something like that, but my mind questioned it. The Universe decided that I wasn’t going to question it again today. I can do this. I believe in myself, and in my environment. We are all in this together, and if we can actually keep that in mind each day, we might start to get better. I certainly don’t think we’d be hurt by it. Please, let’s all just be human tonight, tomorrow, and the next day, for as many as we have. Our time, after all, is priceless.
So, each moment truly is a chance to be an opportunity, or a negativity. Sometimes, it’s both. This truly is just a string of moments, felt by our skin, seen by our eyes, and processed through our brain. Life is consciousness, and in my opinion the pursuit of the lightest, freest, happiest one we can find. Smile, be thankful, and remember it is all going to happen either way. Thanks for listening and safe journeys.

Stay warm 🙂

0

Evolution of Anxiety

Normally, I center my practice in writing around uplifting thoughts, using only smaller details of my life as example. However, today I feel called to tell a little more about myself. I’ve been reading a lot lately about psychiatry and the pharmaceutical industry, and my heart has been breaking. The stories of these bright-minded people in times of struggle being physically destroyed by drugs to “help” them, inspired me to share some thoughts of my own.
I first experienced feelings of depression and anxiety too early to clearly remember. As I got older, I managed to believe that these were the feelings of maturity, and I was supposed to be sad. That’s just what life was. I consistently put myself in dangerous situations, treated my body like a garbage can, and gave no value to my mind. I thought medications would be an easy answer. I believed they would “fix me.” I believed I was utterly broken, and I could never save myself.

When I fully believed I could never save my soul, I thought I’d be better served to just escape this life, this torture, and that would benefit myself and everyone around me. Thankfully, I survived this the most selfish of decisions, but only to stay in the same cycle. I still didn’t believe in my heart that I was enough. I felt no worth, no cause. I continued to live a mediocre and unhappy life.

Until, I found out, I was pregnant. Knowing that I was bringing a new person into the world inspired me. It made me feel a piece of my self. I immediately enrolled at Paul Mitchell, I escaped the torment of an abusive relationship, and I started the long road of self-discovery. I found happiness, love, and peace, but I was still trapped in my mind.

After I had Michael, I struggled to feel connected to the world again. He was filled with so much love, and I so much for him. However, without that life inside me, I felt deadened once again. My anxiety was at an all-time high, feeling the ache I had escaped during pregnancy. I went to the doctor for a routine check up, and noticing the self-inflicted welts on my face, he prescribed the first, and only, medication I would take on a regular basis, klonopin.

At first, it felt like a new start. I could sleep again. I was groggy, but that passed. I believed this was saving me, that it truly helped. However as time passed, I began to feel again. So, I took more klonopin. This continued for 2 1/2 years. Until, I was being prescribed a dosage that would turn anyone into a zombie. I struggled to figure out why I was constantly lethargic, apathetic, and plateaued in my life.

Finally, after an unbelievable life low, I knew klonopin wasn’t saving my life. I stopped taking it, and very slowly began to change my life. I came home, started reading, mediating, exercising, and actually living life. It has been ten months since then, and sometimes I find myself utterly speechless when I think of the soulless being I was.

It’s quite hard for me to believe that when I shared with my doctor, a few months after stopping, that he actually did his best to persuade me to stay on it. Thankfully, I knew in my heart I was moving forward. I don’t believe that pharmaceutical companies mass produce enlightenment. It is a tenuous, painful, and ultimately rewarding journey between what we see and what we know.

Today, I am thankful and alive in each moment. I see beauty and grace. I believe in love, evolution, the self, and soul. I smile, laugh, and do my best to make the most of this journey. This is only part of my story. We are not our pasts.

We are the present, right now. Are you happy? I am. Thank you for letting me share with you. Please, if you have a story share it with me. Safe journeys.

0

Enlightenment is a Verb

All we do, even in not acting, is action. We are a chain of DNA and choices. It is interesting that as we find out more about the existence around us, we find more of ourselves in everything. When I was in school, I didn’t appreciate science. It didn’t make sense to me and felt like the useless memorization of stuff I couldn’t see. As I get older, I find myself realizing that it can be seen in different scales throughout our reality. Finding that perception has allowed for me to see the power we all hold in our mind, body, soul, and the connection between it all.
Today, I watched Stephen Hawking’s “The Story of Everything,” and found myself immersed in the miracle, the impermanence, the sheer magnitude of what goes on outside the self. Knowing that impermanence, we can choose to accept and move onward, conscious of our evolution, or we can continue to find comfort in the known and plateau with in ourselves, and as a species.
Intelligence is both a comfort and a danger to us. We are capable of completely annihilating ourselves in the blink of an eye. Technology has allowed us many life-altering breakthroughs, and connecting that to the spiritual aspect of our existence can only serve to create a new age of awareness.
Once we truly accept the rarity of life, and understand just how fleeting it is, we take advantage of every opportunity. Why waste something so priceless? Every day, hour, second, and moment is something to be present for. Each is very much a gift, and I do my best to be thankful for all of it. Gratitude is an attitude that prevents platitudes. As always, thanks for listening and safe journeys.