Is This the Truth or is That?

What is truth? If I see a shirt and say it’s green and you say it’s turquoise…Am I a liar? I have been coming into some sudden and blunt realizations about truth. After a lot of pondering, I went directly to the source. Hello, dictionary.com. We meet again. As usual, looking up words in the dictionary proves to be ever more fascinating. Don’t believe me? Find the route cause of something that is bothering you and look up the word in the dictionary. I promise, you’ll be surprised at the insight you’ll find. Here’s mine:
Truth, it’s etymology is Middle English, coming from an old english word  for fidelity, and at it’s beginning faithful. Obviously then, it’s first definition is, fidelity or constancy. The funny thing about fidelity is that it is the quality or state of being, something that is ever changing, being placed next to the word constancy sounds a bit paradoxical doesn’t it?  Well it may sound that way, but it is actually possible to be practicing a state of constancy isn’t it? One must be steadfast of mind under duress. Oh, and we must also be unchanging. This was just the first, and archaic definition though. So I kept digging. Fidelity lead me to exactness, which lead me down the wormhole to it’s synonym, correct. Here we go folks, this is how one can be “correct.” We must MAKE or SET right, ALTER or ADJUST to bring to a standard, or to PUNISH, or point out. Now, I can feel you starting to wonder, “Why is this girl going on telling me the definitions of all these different words?” Well because in order to define truth, I think we must first define that which makes up it’s definition. After all, this is all about getting to the root of things. I could go on about how all the synonyms for correct are far different from that which most of us would answer, but I’ll save that for another day. 
Back to the truth, part b: sincerity in action, character, and utterance. So, if one is being sincere, they are being truthful then right? Well, sincerity is the act of being sincere. It is honesty of mind, and it is freedom from hypocrisy. The act of being sincere in this day in age would sort of require us to live just a bit outside the norm at this point wouldn’t? Hypocrisy is everywhere. Well, maybe then we can just be sincere. So to be sincere, we must be honest, pure, and true. According to the dictionary. At this point we must be sincere to be true, true to be sincere, completely unchanging, yet always adjusting and altering, and we haven’t even made it to the SECOND definition. 
I could go on forever through all of these words searching for the “truth” of the truth, but guess what the truth is indefinable. It is completely individual. When two people have different perceptions, they are not both lying. They are both sharing their truth. We tend to see difference in belief as a challenge to “who we are.” However, part of being strong in the self, is accepting that other people may not believe the same way that we do. We have all had different experiences, relationships, and lives that have developed our sense of cognitive reasoning.
It is truly a feat of socialization that we have come to a place where differences are what keep us apart instead of what bring us together. We focus so little on compassion, love, heart, beauty, and our truth that we get lost in the world of what makes me different. I have this and that. I take this. I was born here. Well, we were all born, and we will all die. These are two things that literally every life form can share together. Those are pretty huge similarities in the midst of it all. This is a transient place to rest our heads for awhile and ponder the ways of the world. We are within the infinite when we close our eyes. We have super computers to the billionth in our brain. We have capabilities that far exceed any technology we know today, and we focus on keeping everything….constant and unchanging.                                                                                                         Let’s start seeking our truth.Truth is ever unfolding. Truth is as evolving as we are. The reason it has become such a paradoxical explanation is because to truly define it we would have to tell the world that it’s okay to be in a constant state of evolution. That is also truth. It would create a sense of unity in that we are all in this journey together with core consciousness and the will to create our reality. This need to be separate would become unnecessary because we would see that was never really true in the first place. 
For today, I am learning to accept that my truth, my green and your truth, might be two different shades, but we are both seeing clearly. That is simply the nature of things.


Broken Faces Worn Out Faces

Sometimes we make mistakes, mistakes that are huge. I heard that once, and I see myself in that reality in a way I’ve never known. When we face our immortality, it’s the face of grief. It’s a form of innocence lost that can only be characterized as being indestructible. I can say that I have seen now and understood the balance between darkness and light in a way I’ve never known. I think I’m finally learning that if I truly want to represent to and about the love and light I believe in, I must first conquer my darkness. I know now that doing that may be close to as painful as fracturing your face on a steering wheel, but honestly it’s no worse than facing death without letting go of the weights of sadness.
To believe is to be awakened, it allows one to be inspired for greatness and believe in unity. However it does not a hole fill, it does not a loss regain, and it is not a means to an end. When we remember that, we realize to be awakened is only the very first step in a life-long journey. Whatever wisdom we have been blessed with before these moments, are gifts from the journey we have come from. The comfort in that is quite beautiful. Once we start to become more and more consciously aware of that, thankfulness is abundant. This feeling is fresh, new, exciting, and free. It’s only temporary though if one does not continue to do the work. That is how we slip. That is when we can make mistakes.
Today, I write to you in a moment of grace. I’m learning to accept help, to be aware of my demons because I will meditate their dark arrows into beautiful flowers. I will yoga the balance of light back into my being. Until the last few days, I’ve not ever cried so many streams of silent tears. I’m more a communicative crier. Silent tears fall faster, they fall harder, and for me are a more honest release. I have been on a roller coaster of emotions, and honestly, I’m not even sure how my family has dealt with me. I’m so thankful they love me.
One might say, that some mistakes are the expressions of the hurts and pains we never let go of. A way to make our reality fit the skeletons in our closets we’ve been trying to hide. When we are still not truly free of the chains that bind, how can we be living in love? Are we not still carrying the weights of our unresolved and unforgiving actions? Today, let’s give ourselves permission to forgive. I know that I have people in my life that I do not mean to carry discontent with. I want nothing more than to have a blissful, simple, and loving relationship, but we did not give ourselves that luxury. We fought the Universe, and each other, hard. Now I’m learning to accept, and not regret, the challenges we put upon each other because they are why we are so strong today.
I told myself tonight, “it’s time to forgive.” That doesn’t mean the hurts disappear, or that I will suddenly forget where I come from. It means that I will take where I’ve come from and continue to move forward. It is easier to love with an open heart than a closed one. It’s easier to turn off the self-destruct button with an open mind, as well.
Everyday we make choices. We further ourselves with each choice we make, huge mistake or not. It is up to us to decide whether something pushes us up or down. It is up to us whether or not we are consciously making those choices. It is up to us to decide if we are truly conscious or not. Are we present or are we lost in our mind? Today, I’m open, forgiving, loving, and accepting. What are you? As always please continue on the journey and thanks for listening.


The Universe

We are the universe. We can close our eyes breathe and see the connectedness of it all. If we truly live in each moment minutes of silence with the self can feel like kind, peaceful eternities and interaction can feel like a fun interruption from the blissful stream of consciousness that is being. Life is amazing, life is everywhere, life is all we really have at the end of the day. Life and death are the only two things we truly know, and aside from that we can only experience and perceive. This is a journey that is so unique to each one of us. Remember, each of us is one in four hundred trillion.
Right now, right in this moment I feel completely blissful, alive, and aware. I hope you are too. Thanks for listening and safe journeys.


The Fruits of Our Labor

Rain. Yesterday, my town had a huge fireworks show set to rock music. It is a tradition that goes back, for how long I am unsure. Nothing has ever stopped it, and people wondered this year, for the first time ever, if the threat of torrential downpour would. The radio station promised its show, no matter the weather.
Two friends and I headed down with no real plan, but to experience the intensity that is people coming together, flooding the streets, and just doing. I was of course, stoked. Albeit slightly nervous, as currently I am without windshield wipers. However we let life go where it will and we went along with it. The rain hit and people were everywhere. It was pouring and everyone was running for cover. I’m sure many people left, but I was overjoyed at how many people stayed. That tradition, that sureness, it kept a community together. It sent people out strolling in the rain. Running, jumping, and of course ducked and covered in tiny dry spots outside. The rain created a sense of freedom from the constraints of normal society and created that lighthearted feeling we got as kids on rainy days at school.
We got to watch the fireworks going off drenched, laughing, yelling, and carefree. I finally knew what it meant to feel infinite.
To me, that is grace. The beauty in those moments. The new friends, the freedom to just completely let go and be. Bliss is all around. Faith is unceasing. We are all here to experience these moments, to evolve and grow. It’s a magical gift that has little to do with money or other luxuries, but everything to do with our perception. Today and everyday I thank you for listening, and safe journeys.



The people in our lives impart so very much upon us. It may be temporary, long-lasting, irritating, wanted, needed, misguided, and at times, unintentional.

At the beginning of this year, I was at a spiritual low. Literally, I questioned whether or not I could truly be connected to anything ever again. There was so much blackness and what felt like endless walls blocking me from contentment. I wasn’t unhappy, simply apathetic. I could no longer imagine any kind of future. Although, I felt just on the brink of something bigger, something better.

Toward the end of my temporary residence in Las Vegas, I had the pleasure of meeting some very inspiring hairdressers. I was lost, and I needed meaning in my life. Nearing the end of a wonderful night, someone I will never forget said to me, “I don’t try.” I’m not sure he knew or I knew, what an effect that would have on me, or the journey that has since followed.

Most of the time, I hid behind that word. “I’m trying.” “I’m going to try this time.” “I tried!” After hearing those three words, I finally started to question my mentality. I took the word completely out of my life. I realized, life is about action…not trying to act. I am beyond thankful for the mind-blowing moment the Universe put in front of me.

I’m so grateful to be conscious, loving, and actually DOING things. No longer do I let “trying” stand in my way. I can stand up, use my voice, and be myself, a constantly evolving creature. I can give to others without fear of embarrassment. I can recognize fear and move forward from it. My life is full of what I like, what I can, and what I want. It’s no longer about what I have to do, what I can’t do, or what I “need.”

We only get this body, this perspective, and this mind once. Now, I see the beauty of that, the absolute miraculousness that is our life! Doing isn’t trying and trying isn’t doing. Thanks for listening and safe journeys.