It’s crazy to think how one moment, not even a second, one blip of the millions and billions of thoughts in a day can have such a profound impact. Whether it is self-doubt, anger, disappointment, anxiety, or thankfully for me, self-love. As I sit here today preparing to go and create beauty in the world with my craft, I closed my eyes and literally just thought over and over “Thank you, thank you, thank you…” Suddenly it hit me, that I really meant it from my soul, the core of my being.
Some people may be blessed enough to have always known that feeling. Still, others may be figuring out whether or not they know what that feeling really is. I was a person who didn’t know love. I didn’t understand, and of course I thought I did. I thought that I knew it all. I thought that I completely understood. I thought that life just happened, and that’s all there is. No more to see here folks, shows over. Yet even when I finally realized that wasn’t true, there was still so much work to do.
I was just beginning a journey, and while I am rising and still going through it, everyday I battle my “known.” That little voice of doubt, of destruction. The nay-sayer. Today, when I said thank you, and really felt it, I opened up to a place I am not sure I’ve ever known. I am thankful. Thankful everyday that I have been, am, and will be because truly no matter how much things change, people come and go, or we lose ourselves the act of being here is the gift of it all. Remembering that and keeping it in mind everyday, whether I was upset about other things or not, is teaching me to love. I am loving my life, this world, and all that is, it gets better. Thank you.


The Almond Joy of Life

My boundaries were forced open from my earliest memories. I was to be without closure, and to be open. It has been my destiny. I am an open book, a depiction, a stack of lessons, and tiny wisdoms. I am inside and outside of perception constantly within and without the confines of my mind.
I am a nut, but if I am to categorize myself, I am an almond or a cashew. One of those nutritious nuts that really gets you, and has plenty of glorious energy. You know what they say though, sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes, you don’t, and sometimes…I don’t feel like myself. Sometimes, I don’t know what I feel like or if I feel anything at all.
It is in these times we must remember our nutty behavior, our unique flavor. It is in these times that we must find what is within that makes us what we are.
We can talk for hours about all that we have been, could be, and hope not to be, but it is not until those hours are taken, those conversations muted, that we really get beyond our shell. It is then we go to the root, to the core, and embrace it all. Every fleck, groove, and solid thing that holds us to who we are.
That is when we feel the nuttiest of all.