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The Devil’s Advocate

They move in darkness and believe in it too. Motivated by a need to see others as insecure and fearful as themselves. One can fight a devil’s advocate, but not for long. As they use emotions, and not logic, to pinpoint our weaknesses. They use a soft tone that makes one feel as though they can’t scream loud enough. They use sharp words to make one feel dull. Before one knows it they are feeling the pressure of anger building behind the bones in their face like water rushing through a creek. It is funny because this pressure is quite literally becoming unusual. Why wouldn’t it since the bones can barely take the pressure of daily existence, let alone the unnecessary added pressure of anger.
Anger is toxic. It’s as toxic as the drinks and smokes a devil’s advocate consumes to help them feel internal balances, never realizing the answer is pure joy inside of themselves and, not these toxic outer hindrances, that actually bring peace of mind. It’s the bliss of consciousness that actually builds strength in the face of fear and not hiding behind various realms of possibility.
It is unfortunate to think a devil’a advocate could be anywhere. It’s even sadder to think they could be you. We all have that place in ourselves that is dark and menacing. The place that says the quiet things that no one ever knows. However, why would we play advocate for bringing those thoughts to the surface? Ought we not to encourage one another to move forward in love and light? Do we not want better for those who come after us?
Should one let another go blindly into shit? No, probably not. However, it is only the devil’s advocate who sees that in the future. Creatures who see light, love, opportunity, and abundance see faith, perseverance, humility, and gratitude as their allies in the ability to create the future desires of their mind. Having goals that are specific is important, but at the end of the day if we don’t believe in ourselves and have faith in humanity how can we expect to find the life we want? If we don’t believe there is good in the world, how can we ever expect to find it?
Honestly, we are all connected to one another, and we are all an expression of the perception we create. Today, I am finding that creating a perception based on mindfulness, meditation, love, light, and faith may just scare many people. It is a journey to fearlessness that I am on. I want only to be the kind of person I want my child to be. Independent, confident, strong, vibrant, with a good heart, soul, mind, and spirit. I want him to go into the world with big dreams and an absolute belief he can and will succeed. I want him to believe he can do anything. So, how then, can I do anything less?
I promise today and everyday to believe in love, unity, peace, freedom, light, and the power we all have within. I will fight everyday for my life’s purpose. I will only be stronger for every devil’s advocate who chooses to live in the dark. Hopefully, one day, we can see each other in the light. I choose to accept that I may not be “smart” enough in your eyes, to accept that you will question my dreams, and to forgive you and love you anyway. Because what you think of me and my life is none of my business. I am my soul and I am living in love. I am at peace. I am.
Thanks for listening and safe journeys.

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Paralyzed With Intent

Facial paralysis. I’ve been at it for days. I find some magic opening sentence to start this, but truly the answer is, facial paralysis. Here’s the interesting thing about it, our brain forgets our face is there. Yet, we will still see it in the mirror. I have been finding myself continually curious about this because before I could start to feel the itches and stings of my nerves awakening, I had no clue that was going on.
My face was there, I could see it, and that was enough. I didn’t notice, when the first twitches came, that I covered my face with my left hand, but the more I did, I realized it was because my left brain couldn’t feel the right side of my face and just figured I must want to cover the left. Now, here’s what got me, I’d still cover my right side though. I believe this is because that was my true intent. Which made me think…just how powerful is intent?
Of course, to many of us, we have read, watched, and listened to many different perspectives on creating our reality and the power of our thoughts. I am sure I heard people use the word intent, but I don’t think I completely understood the significance behind it. I was placing it in the same category as our thoughts, mindset, and emotions. However, intent is very much a being of its own.
Our intent is our truth. It is what creates the surrounding energy in the world around us. Our circumstances draw from it, whether we are aware or not.
Sometimes, we are at odds with ourself. I believe it is the fight for intention between the mind and the soulful self. We want to be of light, love, and peace. Who doesn’t want to feel complete bliss? Our societal expectations of life have allowed us to find more discomfort in trusting ourselves than questioning our own being. The fear in us is encouraged to grow, but the individuality is not. Conformity is the general comfort zone. That’s why one can even be thankful for facial paralysis. It is an expression, not only of intent, but of forced individualism. People notice when your face doesn’t move, but the funny thing is, it helped me stop worrying about other people’s intent. It helps me realize that it is my own intent that is my only concern.
It is the strangest thing, realization. It comes mostly in times of pain and suffering, but it doesn’t have to. If we intend to continue to see with clarity, and if we believe each day to be another realIzation of light and love in the universe, that is what we will see. It reminds me, it may not always be easy, but it’s simple. Intend for the best and believe you deserve it, and I will too. Safe journeys and thanks for listening.

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The Path to Self-Construction

The path to self construction, it is similar to the path of self destruction in that we are the only ones in charge of making it happen. There is no sure fire way to become some perfect vision of who you want to be, but there is a conscious decision to be thankful for everything you have already been and will become. We are so blessed in our conscious thought. It is a powerful tool in teaching us how to be. Not to be anything, just to be.
When we give ourselves time, it can feel selfish. It can create a distrust in ourselves as to whether we should be here now or doing something else. Is there something better we should be doing? The best way to answer that is, if there was that is what you’d be doing. We can question ourselves incessantly, hoping to find the answers to all the open-ended constantly evolving perceptions of thought, or we can choose to live life now. We can be here now, and do what we know. It ill not always be perfect, and it will come with challenges and “mistakes,” but that is what allows us to grow. If we never felt pain, how would we know joy?
That is my focus now, feeling the pain. I don’t want to hold it inside me, and let it show itself in my actions. I want to feel it inside of me quaking my nerves and sending my heart racing because when I do calm…..it will be because I’m actually letting go and not holding in. I will actually be content with the mishaps of life because I don’t push them aside and pretend they’re not there. We are all fully capable of being accountable to our pain the same way we can be accountable to our family, job, and everything else. We can’t hide from the hurt. It will find us. When it does it will have been carrying the weight of itself just as long as you have,and it will be tired. It will send that weight crashing down onto you with a force of something “unrelated.”
These weights will continue to build on top of each other, leaving us with nothing but a vague awareness that something is not right. Slowly as our self and soul begin to crush under the weight of unresolved pain, we become more aware of the uneasy feelings inside. Is it depression? Anxiety? Am I just tired or hungry? The mark of a great sufferer is the ability to be aware of internal pain. The search for the root of it inevitably only leads to more what if’s. Until, we can be honest. Once we honestly let the pain in, we can suffer and move forward. Life is a daly struggle, but only if we forget to be thankful for every blessing there is. Just waking up today can be enough. For me, today I’m thankful that I can almost just drink out of a bottle, that I’m starting to be able to use silverware again, and I can almost enjoy laying on my side. Think about it, every inhale we get is gift. Every act is an accomplishment.
The power behind the act of being born and being alive is almost unbelievable in it’s ability to be miraculous. We get to be here, we get to know we are here, and we get to choose what we do with that. We are blessed to spend our lives not seeking protection from death, but figuring out the best way we want to live! Enjoy it! There is little else more important in this world than time. It is non-negotiable. I almost spent all mine, but luckily, I still had credit in my account. That s why I’m here today. So don’t be afraid to be thankful or humble for the littlest things. After all, it’s got to grow from somewhere right? In this life we have many paths, do we choose to construct or destruct? I choose to build. Safe travels and thanks for listening!

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Broken Faces Worn Out Faces

Sometimes we make mistakes, mistakes that are huge. I heard that once, and I see myself in that reality in a way I’ve never known. When we face our immortality, it’s the face of grief. It’s a form of innocence lost that can only be characterized as being indestructible. I can say that I have seen now and understood the balance between darkness and light in a way I’ve never known. I think I’m finally learning that if I truly want to represent to and about the love and light I believe in, I must first conquer my darkness. I know now that doing that may be close to as painful as fracturing your face on a steering wheel, but honestly it’s no worse than facing death without letting go of the weights of sadness.
To believe is to be awakened, it allows one to be inspired for greatness and believe in unity. However it does not a hole fill, it does not a loss regain, and it is not a means to an end. When we remember that, we realize to be awakened is only the very first step in a life-long journey. Whatever wisdom we have been blessed with before these moments, are gifts from the journey we have come from. The comfort in that is quite beautiful. Once we start to become more and more consciously aware of that, thankfulness is abundant. This feeling is fresh, new, exciting, and free. It’s only temporary though if one does not continue to do the work. That is how we slip. That is when we can make mistakes.
Today, I write to you in a moment of grace. I’m learning to accept help, to be aware of my demons because I will meditate their dark arrows into beautiful flowers. I will yoga the balance of light back into my being. Until the last few days, I’ve not ever cried so many streams of silent tears. I’m more a communicative crier. Silent tears fall faster, they fall harder, and for me are a more honest release. I have been on a roller coaster of emotions, and honestly, I’m not even sure how my family has dealt with me. I’m so thankful they love me.
One might say, that some mistakes are the expressions of the hurts and pains we never let go of. A way to make our reality fit the skeletons in our closets we’ve been trying to hide. When we are still not truly free of the chains that bind, how can we be living in love? Are we not still carrying the weights of our unresolved and unforgiving actions? Today, let’s give ourselves permission to forgive. I know that I have people in my life that I do not mean to carry discontent with. I want nothing more than to have a blissful, simple, and loving relationship, but we did not give ourselves that luxury. We fought the Universe, and each other, hard. Now I’m learning to accept, and not regret, the challenges we put upon each other because they are why we are so strong today.
I told myself tonight, “it’s time to forgive.” That doesn’t mean the hurts disappear, or that I will suddenly forget where I come from. It means that I will take where I’ve come from and continue to move forward. It is easier to love with an open heart than a closed one. It’s easier to turn off the self-destruct button with an open mind, as well.
Everyday we make choices. We further ourselves with each choice we make, huge mistake or not. It is up to us to decide whether something pushes us up or down. It is up to us whether or not we are consciously making those choices. It is up to us to decide if we are truly conscious or not. Are we present or are we lost in our mind? Today, I’m open, forgiving, loving, and accepting. What are you? As always please continue on the journey and thanks for listening.