Foggy With a Chance of Meditation

I believe daily meditation has helped keep me centered. I have struggled with anxiety over life, felt powerless, and just let life happen. I’m thankful to have become realized in the fact that this is not “how life is,” but actually choices that I have made.
However, I think my ego thought just knowing this would make all of the conscious changes in my life, easy. I know, this is not true, and yet, at the first sign of spiritual plateau here I am letting my ego question if I can do this or not. I know these are only moments in a natural process. I find myself sitting here questioning where this post is going, where I am going, and what all of this means?
Thankfully, I’m sitting outside, the birds are chirping, and instead of holding onto these doubts, I’m letting them go. I know there are always going to be moments, places, people, and my own ego that will question my principles. I guess I’m writing this to affirm something I was afraid of until recently. It’s okay to be me, and as long as I am consciously aware of what I’m doing, it’s more than okay. It’s practically blissful!
Even when we feel like we’re standing still, we are always moving forward. I know I write that I’m thankful a lot, but I feel like I lived in a fog of negativity, self-doubt, and confusion for so long. To finally feel free of that, to feel the sun on my face, and actually relax, really feels like a gift I didn’t know I was worthy of receiving.
So, I guess the Universe actually has lead this tangent somewhere. Instead of feeling plateaued, I’m actually still thankful. I could still be seeing a hole inside my spirit, but I’m not and that is more than some people ever find.
I hope if anyone else out there is going through something like this, that we all know, it must get better. It already has. Patience, listening, positivity, these are not necessarily in abundance in our daily lives. That doesn’t mean that we ought to stop fighting for it. I found myself lost in a fog at the beginning of this, and now I’m finding my clarity again. So, thanks for listening and safe journeys!

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