Realizing Adaptation

Lately in life, I felt more plateaued and it was starting to bring about questions of complacent behavior. Am I doing my best everyday? Am I striving to be the change I want to see in the world?
Honestly, this is when I love instagram. Being able to watch self-evolution as well as the change of self around the world is such a special technological gift. It gives us a chance to look back on our life journey. It also inspires us to look forward to the future. To me, it gives a sense of constant adaptation.
I believe strongly in a moment to moment evolution of self. Once one new thought has entered our being, we aren’t the same as we were before it, and we won’t be again.
Realization of adaptation, impermanence, and consciousness allow for a sense of detachment. This is not apathy, but the ability to do our best in each moment without expecting anything. I stopped believing in the words “fair” and “deserve.” Most likely the things we say aren’t fair, the things we believe we deserve are not guaranteed rights, but a thought in our mind that has engrained itself so fully we no longer see the perspective outside of it.
In my life, I have seen trauma, tragedy, apathy, and thankfully, bliss. Once we know all we have already overcome, I’m not sure how one can be apathetic or negative to the life we currently live. I have so much faith and hope for this new world of consciousness. It fills my heart to know there are other people searching, learning, living, and loving. How could I not be thankful? This blog truly helps me align my negative thoughts and keep me in moments of realization about the greatness that is our existence. Thanks for listening and safe journeys.


Can You Feel Change?

As human beings, we know that one of our biggest strengths is adaptation. Our ability to change is one of the main factors in determining our existence. As I sit here writing this, I’m compelled to wonder. Do we actually feel change happen?
I know my first thought was, “Yes, of course we do.” Obviously, that was not my only thought. I started thinking about something I’d read about infancy and how as we age we develop a sense of “I” or “me.” When we are our smallest and most vulnerable we see ourselves as one in everything. One in our mothers, our toys, our food, water, and air. There is no such thing as “too far” or “too high.” It’s all the same.
Once I learned we come from that place, it was hard to imagine that we actually feel change happen. Change is constantly occurring. Each moment, each thought, it’s all apart of one big continuous change.
We are never who we say we are for long. Until that day, we begin holding ourselves fully accountable. Until then change will “happen” to us. Once we found ourselves in a state of happiness and contentment though, I believe everything will feel as one. Then change will be a memory of the past. Maybe then, we can feel it. A nostalgic and surreal vision of who we were. What do you think? Thanks for listening.


Foggy With a Chance of Meditation

I believe daily meditation has helped keep me centered. I have struggled with anxiety over life, felt powerless, and just let life happen. I’m thankful to have become realized in the fact that this is not “how life is,” but actually choices that I have made.
However, I think my ego thought just knowing this would make all of the conscious changes in my life, easy. I know, this is not true, and yet, at the first sign of spiritual plateau here I am letting my ego question if I can do this or not. I know these are only moments in a natural process. I find myself sitting here questioning where this post is going, where I am going, and what all of this means?
Thankfully, I’m sitting outside, the birds are chirping, and instead of holding onto these doubts, I’m letting them go. I know there are always going to be moments, places, people, and my own ego that will question my principles. I guess I’m writing this to affirm something I was afraid of until recently. It’s okay to be me, and as long as I am consciously aware of what I’m doing, it’s more than okay. It’s practically blissful!
Even when we feel like we’re standing still, we are always moving forward. I know I write that I’m thankful a lot, but I feel like I lived in a fog of negativity, self-doubt, and confusion for so long. To finally feel free of that, to feel the sun on my face, and actually relax, really feels like a gift I didn’t know I was worthy of receiving.
So, I guess the Universe actually has lead this tangent somewhere. Instead of feeling plateaued, I’m actually still thankful. I could still be seeing a hole inside my spirit, but I’m not and that is more than some people ever find.
I hope if anyone else out there is going through something like this, that we all know, it must get better. It already has. Patience, listening, positivity, these are not necessarily in abundance in our daily lives. That doesn’t mean that we ought to stop fighting for it. I found myself lost in a fog at the beginning of this, and now I’m finding my clarity again. So, thanks for listening and safe journeys!


Heart and Mind

Today, someone asked me a question that instantly inspired me. I told them I write because it’s a practice to keep my mind in the same place as my heart. I do my best to keep a positive outlook now, but in my gray days I wrote with anger, anguish, depression, and sadly no self-worth.
I hurt for that girl. My heart always gets a little tight when I think about her. So, I always come back to now and remember to be here. I look at all the love, all the life around me, and I send a friend or a stranger something encouraging from my heart through my mind. It may sound a little nutty, but I smile every time.
Now, thanks to you friend, I will remember to look back on my past with that same hope, that same love and encouragement. I am surprised everyday by the blessings of the mind when we choose to see the brightness we all have inside.
Everyday I am thankful, truly. I’m thankful for everything exactly as it is because were it not I wouldn’t be here. It’s been calculated that the chance of you being here just as you are right now is 1 in 400,000,000,000,000. Crazy, right? Thanks for listening and safe journeys.


“Those People”

Back in, what I like to call my “gray days,” I used to always wonder about people. I’d look at “those people” and find myself obsessed with how they were so happy. What made them worthy of confidence? Why did they deserve to be positive in any situation?
Today, I fleetingly used the term, and I found myself immediately redirecting my thought, genuinely surprised it had even popped up. Now, I find myself sitting here thankful that I am one of “those people” because really there’s no such thing.
We are all people. There are the people who are positive, quirky, intelligent, loud, goofy, happy, sad, learning, stuck, and any other adjective we can think of. As I’m writing this I also find myself grateful that I was even surprised. To see little examples of the struggle, reminds us to stay observant, be aware, and make it a habit. Love all, and in turn love ourselves. Be thankful for reminders of our own humanity, and always look up.
Majesty, joy, and bliss are the same as the sky, the same as us, and “those people” are the same too. Thanks for listening and safe journeys.


Zen and Coffee

Most days, I wake up early, reveling in the fact that I get to sleep more. “Oh yes! Another two hours?!” Well now, this morning I woke up, saw it was 6:30, and I grabbed my notebook and books and went outside. I realized, it’s much colder outside than one would have thought, but instead of moving my party back inside I threw on my first hoodie in months. I definitely forgot how cozy they are.
Anyway, I couldn’t believe the calm that is an early morning. There is such a peace that lays over everything. It’s as if, even the houses are asleep. To realize the beauty and inspiration of the quiet start to a day, is simply a breath of fresh air. I feel clearer, more at ease, and prepared for whatever the day may bring.
I decided it seemed like another opportune moment to pick up my “The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying.” As usual, I found more depth and knowledge than I could have hoped for. Lately, I have been working a lot within perception. Doing my best to understand how my actions and the actions of others are all one.
This was an invaluable quote to find, “Whatever joy there is in this world
All comes from desiring others to be happy
And whatever suffering there is in this world
All comes from desiring myself to be happy.”
I believe that our happiness is a wonderful side-effect in bringing others to their own as well. I know that my own happiness is a fluid emotion moving in and out of my consciousness, but my ability to bring joy to others is a conscious decision I choose with every person I am around.
I am thankful to feel open enough within myself to express the joy someone else may bring to me. To delight in a joke, hug, or even shoes! I believe all of humanity is in a sense one, and in turn I believe we should all be open to one another. So of course, we should always be generating love, happiness, and joy. Even if we struggle with it within ourselves. In fact, especially if we struggle for it within ourselves!
Life is change, and thank you for being a part of mine. Safe journeys.


The Rabbit Hole

Once I started paying attention to my thought patterns, I noticed that there are so many times I internally disagree with myself. I’ll think, “All I control in life are the little changes in habits I notice.” Seconds later, I find myself redirecting, “If the world is my infinite possibility, then everything I do is in my control.” So did everything I just thought change or did I?
I am reading “The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying.” It is humble yet insightful, and I find myself feeling drawn to it throughout each day. I don’t believe it is a book that can be devoured, but I don’t believe that of much of anything anymore.
Taking my time through this book and through most things in my life, is truly opening the seat of appreciativeness. I’m not sure that’s a word, but it describes what I mean. Finally allowing clarity of mind to overcome the emotional cloud of despair I had been blinded by, is truly like being gifted a new life. I feel balanced, inside and out. A feat, as anyone I know would tell you. I’m not sure I can fully appreciate the fullness of heart I enjoy, but I am sure that I can remember to be thankful everyday. I am sure that I can do my best to share my love with others. I am sure that I can learn and grow a little each day. What are you sure of?
Today, I can only stay in this place of tranquility. I’m thankful for what is sure to be an amazing tomorrow, and I hope the same for you too. Thanks for listening and safe journeys.