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Life-changers

The people in our lives impart so very much upon us. It may be temporary, long-lasting, irritating, wanted, needed, misguided, and at times, unintentional.

At the beginning of this year, I was at a spiritual low. Literally, I questioned whether or not I could truly be connected to anything ever again. There was so much blackness and what felt like endless walls blocking me from contentment. I wasn’t unhappy, simply apathetic. I could no longer imagine any kind of future. Although, I felt just on the brink of something bigger, something better.

Toward the end of my temporary residence in Las Vegas, I had the pleasure of meeting some very inspiring hairdressers. I was lost, and I needed meaning in my life. Nearing the end of a wonderful night, someone I will never forget said to me, “I don’t try.” I’m not sure he knew or I knew, what an effect that would have on me, or the journey that has since followed.

Most of the time, I hid behind that word. “I’m trying.” “I’m going to try this time.” “I tried!” After hearing those three words, I finally started to question my mentality. I took the word completely out of my life. I realized, life is about action…not trying to act. I am beyond thankful for the mind-blowing moment the Universe put in front of me.

I’m so grateful to be conscious, loving, and actually DOING things. No longer do I let “trying” stand in my way. I can stand up, use my voice, and be myself, a constantly evolving creature. I can give to others without fear of embarrassment. I can recognize fear and move forward from it. My life is full of what I like, what I can, and what I want. It’s no longer about what I have to do, what I can’t do, or what I “need.”

We only get this body, this perspective, and this mind once. Now, I see the beauty of that, the absolute miraculousness that is our life! Doing isn’t trying and trying isn’t doing. Thanks for listening and safe journeys.

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Sitting in a Used bookstore

I’m sitting On the floor in the children’s section of the used bookstore. Elvis “Don’t Be Cruel” is playing, and I’ve just finished reading the scholastic classic, “Stone Soup.” I felt a twinge of excitement, this felt familiar. Peeking out at me, loosened from the previous book I had pulled.
So I picked it up and began reading. Adults, teenagers, and children everywhere could find something wise in this beautifully simple journey to find happiness where there is little or none. It’s amazing the gifts we start finding when our minds and our spirits are open. To know that I loved this as a child, reminds me, we all start that way. Sharing, growing, learning, and loving, it’s the true human nature.
Letting these natural feelings of contentment be visible to the world has definitely been a decision every moment, but it’s becoming more natural. Today, for the first time in a long time I walked into an interview, confident in who I am. Not who I’m going to be, not who I should be, or what I could be, but just exactly who I am. I’m thankful to the universe for this moment and every moment. Who knew life was so amazing?
Thanks for listening and safe journeys.

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Popeye: A Metaphysical Journey?

As I sit here watching the 1980 cult-classic “Popeye,” I find myself nostalgic. One of the clearest memories I have of my childhood is always wanting to watch that with my Grandma. It always makes me smile to see it on, but I usually don’t have time to sit down and watch.
Today, after a fun-filled day with my own Sweet Pea, I sat down and watched it. How funny it is to watch a movie we’ve seen our whole lives. It’s as if every time you watch it, you can see the evolution of your own consciousness. This time, for the first time, I realized the anthem at the end was Popeye finally rejoicing in exactly who he was. He loved and accepted his Father, Olive, Sweet Pea, and even, spinach. 😉
I hope each day to rejoice in my life, my relationships, gifts, blessings, and really each moment I am here. I’m finally seeing in the world love and acceptance. I believe I am actually starting to love and accept me.
This is my journey. Thanks for listening and safe travels.

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Sleeping to Dream

I’ve found myself dreaming vividly in the last few days. Fascinated, I keep telling myself, I’m sure it was just because of this or that. From now on, I’m just going to be thankful for each night I’m allowed this simple pleasure.
As a child, and in most dreams I remember, I was terrified. Always running, I was alone, trapped, and wanting to break free.
Ever since I have begun this journey to self, I have noticed small changes. Seemingly inconsequential little thoughts and attitudes. Dreams though? They are an amazing gift.
See, these dreams are creative. They have color, passion, motivation, relationships, hope, and growth. Truly, they are my dreams. No longer am I living in a “subconscious” filled with fears and anxieties. I’m living fully dedicated to happiness, to now, and to love.
Thanks for listening. Safe journeys.

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Is it only blissful thinking?

I deleted my Facebook today. I know, to some, it is shocking. To me, that’s the puzzle. In my search to find bliss, I’ve decided to focus on the main character on the journey and the true players in my story. I want to seek true relationships. I want to be open, unfiltered, joyful, and loving! I want to speak through my true voice. So I must thank you for listening!
I found myself pondering words today. This is not an unusual occurrence. However, thanks to having more freedom sans Facebook, I decided to find the “roots” of these words. Manager has been quite a big weight on the mind. The word originally started as a term to describe overseeing horses. A synonym for horsemanship. The part that lead me further down this journey was that this word did not come into existance until well into the 1700’s! This end all and be all in many careers has been around for less time than corsets.
This really got me thinking. I started searching a few other words, responsibility, obligation, and practical to name a few. Similar stories, and seeing the true definitions opened my eyes to the misuse of the modern day English language just a bit more.
Then, I typed in bliss. Bliss, as a word, has existed since before the year 1,000. People having been seeking heaven on earth for much longer than we’ve been “managing” ourselves. It’s things like this that help me to believe the path I seek is my own, and I am the only person who decides how to take each day. If I believe in bliss, I will find it.
It’s interesting to begin to sit in the observation seat of life. Journey on and safe travels.